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Button! Button! You’ve Got the Button! Did you know you have a secret button in your body which, when pushed, can make you a very happy person? But some use it for evil to manipulate you, but I use it on the air for good. The term “It pushed my buttons,” was taken to be a descriptive phrase without a basis in scientific fact. I don’t care what they say. We all have a button. Competitors, trying to figure out what I was doing, always heard the superficial things: my manic one on one delivery, seemingly inane material, and other features of my on air presence blinded them to what I was really doing It’s like watching a swimmer, taking those lazy strokes above water, not realizing the vast energy exerted under the surface. My secret? I was pushing buttons. . More on this in a future piece.
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday, you take away my license and now today, you expect me to show it to you!"
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new Dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs. Those are basic blonde jokes, but I would have a funny but credible sounding young lady come in and tell them as if they had happened to her. The trick to having a character or a comedy character on your show is that they be credible, funny, but not a cartoon character. Having the blonde character go through the routine and then say “Helloooo! They’re watch dogs” is very funny with the right delivery. I liked to throw curves to my audience. Just when my blonde listeners are getting irked at the implication that they are all dumb, a brunette will come in and tell the same kind of “dumb” jokes, then a red head. Finally, I recycle the blonde, never staying with any one shtick very long. Big rule: Never be predictable. Corn sells if it is shamelessly performed. Even time-worn trivia questions are “in” if they stretch the brain, and…..if they’re fun and evoke fond memories. Important,: The questions have to sound hard but, be easy.
1. When did "Little Suzie" finally wake up? A) The movie's over, it's 2 o'clock B) The movie's over, it's 3 o'clock C) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock
2. "Rock Around The Clock" was used in what movie? A) Rebel Without A Cause B) Blackboard Jungle C) The Wild Ones
3. What's missing?_____Baby, Earth_____, _____On My Shoulder Love A) Angel B) Head
4. "I found my thrill..." where? A) Kansas City B) Heartbreak Hotel C) Blueberry Hill
5. "Please turn on your magic beam, _____ _____ bring me a dream" A) Mr Sandman B) Earth Angel C) Dream Lover
6. For which label did Elvis Presley first record? A) Chancellor B) RCA C) Sun
Of course, for questions of this vintage, your audience has to be boomers. You can stretch these questions over an entire four hour show. Ask the question, take phone calls during the song and come out with two or three contestants. Get into the sequence, ask the question, then quickly but humorously blow off the wrong answers, and if you get a winner, award the prize if any, and .keep moving, into a song. Never do a bit sandwiched in a commercial set. Isolate it. I recently heard a gifted young morning radio host do a trivia sequence in which he asked boomer questions to a largely young male audience. I.e: A typical question to a young call-in guy listener was, “In which movie did Mrs. Robinson appear? The young guy was clueless, not his fault. A character doing household hints is funny. Just one liners strewn over an entire show after you have set him or her up. It will surprise a lot of radio folks that you don’t have to set up everything you do with a long drawn out explanation. Condition your audience that this is your style and that they had better get used to it and they will “get it” and not expect a lot of build up by you.
Of
course, if it is a time proven
popular shtick,
I will billboard it lavishly as a
quarter hour builder.
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of
your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
But you didn’t get into the habit of reading my stuff just to pick up on some time worn shtick. You want another “Happy Hare Remembers” bit, Right? Okay. You have already read in this series about my adventures with Frank Sinatra which began in Hollywood when I went to KLAC in 1950, and there was Frank holding out his hand to greet me. I did not know at the time. but he had been sent to KLAC by Galveston Mafia Don Sam Maceo to look after the new kid in town. Sam did not realize that Frank was dead broke and barely able to look after himself. We enjoyed a relationship that included coffee and pie, which I bought a couple of times a month, until he left town midyear, and went to Atlantic City to perform at the 500 Club. The place was owned by Paul “Skinny” D’Amato, a notorious gangster. It seated 1000 and was insulated by the local police who were “shocked,” like Inspector Renaud in Casablanca, “that gambling was taking place.” Frank sang every night and slept in the back. You could hear him sing a set for the price of a coke. Fast forward to 1957. I had gone to the top of the San Diego ratings. When I began in1955, there were no numbers at all and now I had 40% of the morning audience. The KCBQ afternoon jock was Don Howard, as fine a “straight” jock as I ever heard. He had a vibrant bass baritone voice that escaped from his mouth like the words were red hot. He was now playing rock and roll at KCBQ, because Lee Bartell had paid him a goodly sum to vacate KSDO, the big MOR station in town. There, Don was playing Ella and Frank and all the middle of the road artists and he had big numbers. It was Lee’s idea that Don “Mr. Music” Howard would draw a lot of people to KCBQ, the new station, and he was right. Ordinarily, there might be friction between me, the hot new guy, and the established local radio star, Don Howard, but not here. Don knew about my KLAC stint before the army: that Frank and I had been close when he was struggling, and this made me Don’s super hero. Don’s KSDO show, before joining me at KCBQ had made him the promotional target of the major artists. Don made sure I knew that he had a phone relationship with Sinatra, not as good as mine, but a call or two from Frank made him worthy. Don owned a hot night club, Club Tempo on the outskirts of town. It was a boutique room where the cream of the locals jazz artists played, and drew crowds that often overflowed into the street. Typical of our patty cake mano a mano was when Don, with great authority, stated on the air that Frank’s career rebirth in the mid 50’s was due to Nelson Riddle. Partly true. Nelson arranged the songs for the LP’s recorded by Frank but the idea was Paul Weston’s and you can hear a lot of Paul in those arrangements. I had been asked by Paul, a long time friend, not to mention his part in connection with this. As a long time Artists and Repertoire chief at both Capitol and Colombia Records, he had a subtle way of maneuvering artists into exciting career moves without taking any credit for himself. He called it “ego subordination,” and credited it in large part to his success. A book could be written on this. Faithful to Paul, I called and told him that I wanted to set Don straight, He hesitantly okayed it, only if I kept it local and not spread it to L.A. I explained to Don that Paul Weston had quietly helped Frank get his career back on track by teaming him with Nelson Riddle, asking Nelson to arrange those finger poppin’ mid 50’s Capitol LP’s that lifted Frank out of the doldrums. Riddle jumped at it. He respected Paul as a great arranger, and mentor. Paul had brought him into Capitol Records when he ran A and R there. Riddle also knew that Frank held Paul in awe and slanted his arrangements toward the old Dorsey/Weston days, to help Frank get grooved. Listen to Frank’s “I’ve Got You Under My Skin,” with Riddle and hear what I mean: 40’s swing brilliantly updated, exactly what Paul wanted. Sinatra and Weston’s rapport dated back to the days when Frank was the band singer and Paul was Tommy Dorsey’s chief arranger. Frank recognized Paul’s influence in the Riddle arrangements and played along without ever mentioning it. I was careful to be diplomatic with Don, what Paul called “ego subordination”. Fact is, I respected Don’s air talent immensely. One day, Don told me that his big ambition was to have Frank come down to sing at his club. He told me this with a big sigh, like it was his ultimate fantasy. I told him that Frank was riding high in the Capitol LP series with Nelson Riddle, and that he was the hottest ticket in the country, so forget it. Frank’s “Come Fly With Me” album was flying high at that time. No one could have foreseen one historic night at Club Tempo when Frank strolled into Club Tempo with an impressive entourage, ready to sing Next week: The story behind that fabled night when Frank came to town, unannounced. It’s very important to have someone around to pick up your mess…… Happy Hare
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e-mail Hare
hare@happyhareonline.com
Hare's Biography |
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