Updated, If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their hilarious sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

             COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM AB

ABBOTT:        Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:   Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a      computer.
ABBOTT:        Mac?
COSTELLO:   No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT:        Your computer?
COSTELLO:   I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT :       Mac?
COSTELLO:   I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT:        What about Windows?
COSTELLO:   Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT:        Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO:   I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT:        Wallpaper.
COSTELLO:   Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT:        Software for Windows?
COSTELLO:   No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track    expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT:        Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT:        I just did.
COSTELLO:   You just did what?
ABBOTT:        Recommend something.
COSTELLO:   You recommended something?
ABBOTT:        Yes.
COSTELLO:   For my office?
ABBOTT:        Yes
COSTELLO:   OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:        Office.
COSTELLO:   Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT:        I recommend Office with Window's.
COSTELLO:   I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT:        Word.
COSTELLO:   What word?
ABBOTT:        Word in Office.
COSTELLO:   The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT:        The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:   Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT:        The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight      answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT:        Money.
COSTELLO:   That's right What do you have?
ABBOTT:        Money.
COSTELLO:   I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT:        It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO:   What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT:        Money.
COSTELLO:   Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT:        Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO:   I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT:        One copy.
COSTELLO:   Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT:        Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO:   They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT:        Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A FEW DAYS LATER)                        

ABBOTT:        Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:   How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT:        Click on 'START……………………..(Thanks to anonymous)

The reason I laid the new Abbot and Costello computer bit on you is not because  the old “who’s on first” baseball routine is no longer funny, but because smart marketers these days are updating previously successfully ideas. .“Updating“ these days often involves backdating.  In this case, resurrecting the great music of the past.

Six months ago, I wrote a piece for Radio Daily New in which I advocated the resurgence of what I called “Oldies”  radio for reasons of quick identification, and for no other reason. “Oldies” is a word I reject. I called it “Boomer Radio” in the recent RDN  piece.

I have my own original name for this new/old genre which I may spring on the public soon in a large venue.

To a man in his early 40’s, and just reaching boomerdom, “Oldies” is a word that denotes approaching senility. It’s bad enough that his prostate is beginning to falter. He doesn’t have to be reminded. And certainly, no woman wants to be associated with the word “Oldies.”

The word “Oldies” passed muster among maturing teens as  they hit their 20’s and 30’s, because they were the ones who named it, so that made it okay…then..

Actually the title “Boomer Radio” doesn’t cover it.  What’s looming on the musical horizon is far broader than the  42-60 boomer demos..

Top 10-40 times have a’changed. Boomers expanded their tastes when their  music spigot was cut off some 20 years ago. Those times were not Boom times for Boomers.

They learned to adapt big time. Now, anything that is catchy, melodic, lustrous, toe tapping, memorable, and reminiscent of the great classic pop music of the past 60 years…or more….sounds good to them.

We let 60’s and 70’s music get away from us…what were we thinking?   Boomers are bringing it back,  packaged like a Christmas present..

“Tweens’”  parents aren’t the only ones buying the expensive toys that are flooding the market with 14 year old Hannah Montana’s  imprimatur on them. The marketing surge created by Hannah is also being subsidized by Boomers.

Who can afford to  buy $1200 or  even $2400 black market Hannah Montana concert tickets ?  Doting Grandpas and Grandmas, who else?

Hannah Montana leopard print shoes are flying off the shelves at Payless. Hannah Montana posters are everywhere. Kids dressed like Hannah went out trick and treating last week. Name a viable  or remotely viable product, and chances are, Hannah’s handlers have already been there  to put her brand on it.  She stars in the top rated Disney channel, and sells CD’s by the boatload.

Boomers are the ones with the buying power to subsidize the massive “tween” (6-12 yrs) tsunami.

                                    Oh Doctor!  Hang a Star on Jerry Coleman!

Last Saturday night in Chicago marked another stellar occasion in the incredible life of Jerry Coleman.  Those  who should  know, regard Jerry as one of the absolute top second baseman in baseball history. He played for the Yankees in the Mantle era.

Last Wednesday, Jerry was at the top of the batting order in my new internet radio show at signonradio.com. I wrote about him in a prior piece titled “Oh Doctor!  Hang A Star on Jerry Coleman!” Scroll down to it. You will be amazed at his many accolades, which include being a highly decorated Marine dive bomber flyer in both WW11 and Korea. He is quietly proud, but there is a side of him that shrinks away from all the public idolatry.

He was given a twofer this year , inducted earlier into the Marine Corps Hall of Fame, and last weekend, the National Radio Hall of Fame. In 2005, he copped the Ford C, Frick honor for being the outstanding sports announcer.

When we sat down for the signonradio.com interview, the back and forth between us came easy as he is at home on both television and radio. He did play by play in the Yankee games for seven years, then with the Angels, the CBS Game of the Week for a long time and finally, the Padres for the past 32 years.

The informal opening  between us went smoothly when, after five minutes into the interview, the phone line lit up. Calling in was widely read Union Tribune Sports writer Tim Sullivan. who put Jerry in his place by reminding him that he had not copped all of the big Hall of Fame awards, that there were still the  Hamburger Hall of Fame, the Clown Hall of Fame, and the National Recreational Vehicle of Fame Awards to be nailed.

Jerry wasn’t ready for the next call. He picked up, and there was Larry Lucchino, the Boston Red Sox president who said, “Jerry I am caught up in victory parades and other celebrations, but nothing can keep me from taking time out to wish you the best in honor of your Hall of Fame induction. 

It would have been appropriate for Jerry to shout out his patented, “Oh Doctor!” Boston had won the World Series only the day before, and that the President of  the Red Sox would take time out from his wild schedule to call him………….

Just before boarding for the Hall ceremony, he called me from the airport, half kiddingly asking me if I wanted to fill in for him in Chicago. I sent him on his way.

This week, NBC 7/39 TV’s  Ken Kramer, a renowned television feature reporter comes into the studio before I begin my Wednesday show, to interview me about my career, which now is on the leading edge with the new internet radio show. I am honored, but a little flustered like Jerry Coleman when he is singled out. I’m better at dishing it out Truth is, I am a mere player on the stage of life.*  My internet radio show is streamed Wednesdays on  signonradio.com  from 1p-3p PST  

Jaques:
* All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts 

Shakespeare’s As You Like It Act 2, scene 7,   Truth:  Shakespeare pronounced the name of the character Jacques as “Jock-ay.”   Did he mean it, as in Disc Jock-ay?

Jim Stagg is terminally ill. He was with Specs and me at KYW in Cleveland, the finest afternoon drive man I ever heard, and equally important, a great gentleman and generous colleague who actually cross-plugged everybody, almost unheard of in radio.