Wednesdays 1P-3P. I do it this way, because you aren’t going to come to me. and it would be a mess if you did. Maybe I could do a show for 20 or 30 of you tops and play the music for you personally, but that would take forever, so here I am.

I am going through my old material in my garage, and tossing it. But you can have it if you wish

It is by now, Pop Standards stuff.

The show that asks the question, Is Mr. Coffee related to Mr. T?

Question: What has four legs, feathers, and goes bah bah?

Answer: Two Indians singing the Whiffenpoof Song?

A listener to my current internet radio show checks in with:

One year at Thanksgiving, I went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast.. Knowing how gullible my sister is, I decided to play a (slightly cruel) trick on her. I told her she needed some thing at the store. When she left, I took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, shoved a Cornish hen into the turkey and the re-stuffed it. I then placed the bird back into the oven. When the turkey was done, my sister proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little Cornish Rock hen. With a look of total shock on my face, I exclaimed, “Patricia, You’ve cooked a pregnant bird.” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took us a while to persuade her that turkeys lay eggs.

In the latter 60’s, Specs Howard and I did our WXYZ morning show in Detroit where they had broadcasted the Lone Range, through the 30’s, 40’s and leaking into the 50’s. There show boasted a live 30 piece band with a studio full of dedicated actors.

If you are a senior boomer you, doubtless, remember the show where they struck up the William Tell Overture and announcer, Eddie Foy, did that dazzling opening:. “Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. The Lone Ranger Rides again.” Yeah, I know. There were several different openings over the years. Sorry, purists.

Because of the time difference between the two coasts, they did two live shows back to back: one for the west coast and the other for the east., The two shows were separated only by a thirty second network chain break, where the local stations would come in, identify themselves, do a commercial, then rejoin the network for a repeat show.

This was big time stuff. There was a Director in the control room who would listen to the performances and run into the studio between the west and east coast shows and give rapid fire instructions on how they could improve the next show..

With only 30 seconds to work, he said things like, "It was a great show, gang. Only Charlie, When Edna asks who was that masked man and you say,” Don’t you know who that was? That man was the Lone Ranger.” Charlie, when Edna says, “Who was that masked man? Say, that man was the Lone Ranger, like he is the most important man in the world. Say it like he is….. Franklyn Delano Roosevelt, “ Ok? Ok”. Then he ducked back into the control room..

So they did the second show and it got down to the end and Edna said, "Who was that masked man?" and Charlie, with great theater said, "Don't you know who that was? That man was…… Franklyn Delano Roosevelt."

I like phone-ins, set up in a prior set by saying something like “I’m feeling frisky today., I’m gonna make you do some of the work today. Call me at xxxxx, and tell me something interesting about yourself.”

A “planted” lady will call..

Caller: Hello, you asked me to call and tell you about anything interesting about myself that happened?.

Hare Yes, tell us about it..

Caller: Well this morning, my husband and I were playing golf and he teed off and drove a ball right down my bra.

Hare: Wow, did it hurt?

Caller : No, but you should have seen that second shot.


Trivia Questions that drew phone calls in the 60’s. Now, ideal for Pop Standard formats.

Trivia What was the Name of a radio horror show. One of the words was “out.”

Answer: The name was "Lights Out."

Trivia: What was Sam Spade’s secretary's Name?

Answer: Effie

Trivia What was the name of Dick Tracy's girl friend ?

Tess Truehart

Trivia: What radio program took place weekly in a railroad station?

Answer: Grand Central Station.

Trivia: What was name of Red Ryder's young sidekick?

Answer: Little Beaver.


One liners:

The is the radio show that is dedicated to fighting the nation's #1 killer......boredom.

Take good care of your body and you can use it over and over again.


I actually got away with telling entire jokes, preceded by teasing in prior sets.

So the little old lady who lived alone with her parrot told the parrot that she was going shopping and told the bird to say, Who is it?” to scare away any burglars. Then, she left, forgetting that she had called a plumber. So, the plumber comes and knocks on the door and the parrot says, “Who is it?” and the plumber says "The plumber" and he stood outside for five or six minutes and knocks again and the parrot says, “Who is it?” and the plumber says, “the plumber.”. and, after another ten minutes, the plumber knocks and the parrot says, “ Who is it?” and the plumber says.....”the plum”....and this time he is so apoplectic that he keels over…. Well, finally, the old lady comes back and sees the plumber lying on the floor in front of the door and she says . “My! My! Who is this?” and the parrot says, “It’s the plumber.”

Ken Kramer, a gold standard NBC 7/39 TV interviewer spent time with me two weeks ago, while I was doing my signonradio.com internet show. Ken is acclaimed as an archivist of city lore, who apparently regarded me as an object of curiosity. I spent thirty minutes with him, telling him tales of past glory: how I spearheaded the campaign to bring the Pandas into this country, my campaign to establish Charter Schools in San Diego, my amazing experience in predicting when it was going to rain, 18 times in a row, but Kramer was principally fascinated with my longevity in a career that chews up jocks.

The gist of my reply was that I was backed up by great program directors, Al Heacock in San Diego and New York, and Ken Draper in Cleveland., and my 8 year partnering with a great talent and wonderful human being, Specs Howard

Part of the reasons for my success was a rocket boosting launch at KGBC in Galveston where I learned by doing everything: man on the street, news, in-studio emceeing of both country and jazz groups, jock shows, and network big band remotes which got me out of Galveston when I was heard by GM/VP Don Fedderson in Los Angeles at KLAC.

I have yet to understand why they trusted me with afternoon drive at KLAC, where I became chums with Sinatra, Ella, Paul Weston, Peggy Lee, Mel Torme, and other greats.

I was drafted into the army after a fantasy year in Hollywood.

Even this was fortuitous. I met Al Heacock there, where we had a friendly rivalry. He won. Although a draftee, Al rose to Master Sergeant in two years, and I wound up with a single rocker sergeancy, But then, I always deferred to Heacock, even before he went on to greatness in radio, WBZ PD and GM at KDKA. He cheated, though. He was a gifted visionary and administrator, an unfair advantage.

After the army, I persuaded Lee Bartell to bring Al to KCBQ in San Diego where he performed wonders and made that station a legend, making me look good.

I truly believe that the chemistry of a total station, created by a gifted PD, is more important than any single player


When I was beginning in Galveston the one thing I never wanted to announce was bowling. KGBC actually covered it. What could I have done to make it interesting?

What do you think he’ll do, Harry?

Oh, I don’t know. I think he will roll the ball down that alley and try to knock over those pins. Back to you, Eddie.

Next Week: I view Internet Radio from the inside.