Beyond This Place There Be Dragons

Several hundred years ago, England, Spain, Holland, and Portugal were jockeying for dominance in world trade. They did it by grabbing massive swatches of land, planting their flag on them, and trying to ward off imminent domain litigation by rival kingdoms.

This was a time when exploiting the fear of fire snorting dragons did the trick. British monarchs would command their cartographers to draw fearsome dragons on the map with the caption,” Beyond this place, there be dragons.” It often worked.

This fear shtick beset otherwise brave skippers, to trim their sails away from “terra incognita,” terrified that dragons would immolate their ships if they crossed forbidden navigational lines on the maps of the day. On the other hand, there were a few intrepid captains who took those warnings as challenges.

These were hardy souls who, as a matter of course, would brave the elements, crashing through mast splintering hurricanes, Then, in a display of whimsy, the winds would abate and becalm the ships for weeks in a glass-like sea, and just when their scurvied crew had lost hope, the winds would fill the sails, sending the ships on their way.

It is understandable that when confronted by those dragon warnings, it was a test of courage to cross into dragon country.

Fast forward hundreds of years. That kind of raw courage reminds me of the audacity displayed by many mornings radio jocks.

Not counting the valor displayed by our brave men and women of the armed forces and various fire and police services, I can think of no group braver than morning hosts.

Each day, they rise before everyone else, and brave the elements, often in snow country where they beat the snow plows onto the streets, and fish tail their cars to work.

Once there, they enter the gloom of a control room, uncertain whether there be dragons. Considering the management of some of the major chains, they have reason to be wary.

This message to you young talents is based on having faced a number of these dragons myself. If you are special – and you know who you are – this is for you.

I was often been sent memos threatening instant dismissal if I failed to follow a music sheet or do the format. Like those skippers of yore, I took those memos as a challenge. The result: I was not fired and wound up earning the respect of the very PD’s who were threatening my career.

In one instance, I ignored those memos and scored #1 from nothing within the space of one book and kept that # 1 rating for an entire year. The PD approached me one morning dumbfounded, shook my hand and said, “I was wrong. Do what you want.”

There is noting more heady than facing those demons down. If you are good, management may take a swipe at you, but they will leave you alone, if you ignore that opening salvo and keep plugging…as long as you deliver.

Often, a good PD will test you by pushing.. If you push back respectfully, and then make things happen, they will back off, In fact they will be happy because you will be one less thing to worry about.

You will be happy, too. I know.

Above all, defy the inner dragons that may be threatening you right now. Put a leash on them and sail on into terra incognita. By the way, there are no dragons.


I admire CBS’s Adam Carolla whose style I could never emulate. But, I happened to be listening one day when he billboarded a call-in from Ann Coulter, the firebrand who delights in making outrageous remarks about sacred subjects….and gets away with it to the extent that she is a # 1 best selling author.

The time for Coulter’s call-in came and went.. Carolla made wry note of that.

I am not repeating the exact wording of their exchange but it went something like this.

Coulter finally called and said to Carolla on the air, “I don’t have much time. Let’s make this short.”

“Make this short?” he replied. “Okay. Goodbye.” He hung up on her, then and there.

Snuffing out a firebrand, the ultimate.



Things seldom are what they seem. Take for example, John and Jane.

John - Ah! At last I can hardly wait.

Jane - Do you want me to leave?

John - No Don’t even think a about it.

Jane - Do you love me?

John - Of course, Always have and always will.

Jane - Have you ever cheated on me?

John - No! Why are you even asking?

Jane - Will you kiss me?

John - Every chance I get.

Jane - Will you hit me?

John - Hell no! Are you crazy?

Jane - Can I trust you?

John - Yes

Jane - Darling.

AFTER MARRIAGE….Read from the bottom back up.

Thanks to Sandi V.

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I honestly respect researchers, but love this bit about that mystic art.

A researcher stood facing a room full of programmers to which he was about to explain the importance of research. On a table in front of them, he held a cricket between his fore finger and thumb.

“We have here a cricket and I will show you the importance of accurate research.”

He held the cricket up for all to see. “Watch what happens when I order the cricket to jump.” He sharply ordered, “Jump!” and released the cricket which made a spirited jump, and was caught mid-air by the researcher.

“Now, watch what happens when I cut off this cricket’s hind legs.”

He did so, and ordered the cricket. “ Jump!”

The cricket made a valiant try at jumping but crashed and almost rolled off the table.

The researcher grabbed it and held it up to the programmers.

“Proof positive!” proclaimed the researcher. “That cutting off a cricket’s hind legs renders it deaf.”



The exclusive Los Angeles showing of our movie, “Kings of the Evening,” played to a full house crowd of insiders, Hollywood people with a hard eye toward other producers’ work. They all laughed, applauded, and shed tears at the right time.

Next stop: The Atlanta Film Festival. The movie is slated to be shown twice, April 17th at 7:10 pm, prime time, and a matinee to handle the overflow on the 18th at 4 pm.

Bulletin! Lee Abrams joins Randy Michaels Tuesday the 1st of April, to begin the work of innovating the way things are done at Tribune Properties, a vast empire that spans all media:13 newspapers, 71 websites, 3 cables, and 40 TV stations. And Lee thought programming XM Satellite Radio was a load.


Imagination is more important than knowledge…Einstein