In World War 1, the French suffered massive casualties at the Battle of the Somme. French General Ferdinand Foch presided over a press conference in Paris where the reporters demanded to know how many soldier had died during that battle.

 

He replied, grandly, “Gentlemen I never discuss our casualties. C’est finis!”

 

Ah! Those were the good olds days, when  embarrassing stories could be suppressed with an airy wave of the hand.

 

I am certain that the editors of the San Diego Union Tribune were embarrassed by their own casualty, that of  the Internet radio station  SignOnRadio. No airy hand waving here.

 

The death of the station was trumpeted nationwide by writers exuding what the Germans call Shadenfreude, that warm feeling one gets while watching the embarrassment of others.

 

I was a  minor witness to that sad epoch, but you will not get anything out of me.

 

However, I will describe what happened in a roundabout way, but only as a vehicle to suggest remedies for future projects.

 

When he was planning the  broadcast schedule of the now defunct operation, Ron James, then the new  Content Manager of SignOn Radio’s day to day operation approached me to go on the air Monday through Friday in the afternoon prime time slot.

 

.I had to opt away because of my commitment to help launch the award-winning film, “Kings of the Evening,”

 

I did, however, agree to host a two hour show on Wednesdays from 1p-3p.and loved it.

 

Charlie and Harrigan were the jewels in the crown. Despite commitments elsewhere, they agreed to take over  the M-F  9a-11a slot,  prime time for internet radio users.

 

Jack Woods, aka Charlie Brown, has a profound grasp of radio, having run radio stations, competed successfully as an on air talent in major markets, then after having whipped every bear in the forest,  retired  to the  splendor of San Diego North County, where he is preparing  to introduce what connoisseurs describe as a “highly prized” wine.

 

Asked for his own evaluation of the imminent wine, he replied that it has matured splendidly after a “balky adolescence.”

 

He is a witty generalist with a lightning fast mind, who teamed with Paul Menard, aka Irv Harrigan, one of the funniest radio men ever, to produce giant ratings as Charlie and Harrigan, in national syndication. Many of you may recall hearing them in your market..

 

You Houston boomers probably heard Irv as the radio partner of Mac Hudson at KILT.

 

Mac and Irv “owned” Houston. RB McIntire, the Texas Hall of Fame newsman at KILT said that when he listened to Irv in the morning, he laughed so hard that snot ran out of his nose.

 

Humor often works  with serious topics. One needs only to refer to how decisively the network TV news anchors and serious cable news shows get routed by Colbert, Leno, Letterman, and Stewart. Charlie and Harrigan capture that spirit.

 

They not only were funny in their slant on otherwise serious news, but they effectively showcased Union Tribune writers, many of whom had never been on the radio.

 

The SignOn Radio  format  propelled by  C and H in the morning was followed by two gifted radio and TV talents from 11a-1 p. Ken Copper and Clark Anthony.

 

Anthony, both a radio and TV talent has a rich radio presence with a gift for sharp insightful  interviews, honed by years on television.

 

Copper is a humorous radio man with a broad knowledge of the city and a talent for bringing out the best in the guests, most of whom were Union-Tribune staffers.

 

One suggestion from a sincere  critic of SignOnRadio was that internet radio should not be bound by the same time restrictions as regular radio, that it should not be tethered by presenting features in fifteen, or thirty minutes segments, but should flow  formlessly.

 

There is some merit there, but neither internet radio nor any other radio format will ever have a Forest Gump “box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” format. People will always  tune in to hear favorite  personalities and how they handle things, and they will want to know when that will be.

 

The implication by some critics  is that SignOn failed because of a  lack of listeners. In fact, they scored two and a half million hits per month.

 

My show  guests ranged from Union Tribune columnists, to giants such as Regis Philbin, Chuck Blore, Mark Ramsey,  Larry Lucchino, Wink Martindale, and Jerry Coleman.

 

The nearest I come to  honoring the suggestion that internet radio schedules should be more free form is Coleman’s studio appearance in celebration of his birthday.

 

That day, Jerry  reminisced with me about his days as baseball’s stellar second baseman with the Yankees.

He told me that some years ago, he took a lot of heat when he stepped in to manage the disastrous Padres on an emergency basis,

 

The team was losing big time and being the good guy that he is, Jerry stepped out of the announce booth and onto the playing  field.

 

Coleman said that he learned a valuable lesson about public criticism while managing, that when he was in the dugout with  thousands of fans screaming for him to put “so and so”  into the game, they didn’t realize  that “so and so” couldn’t play, because he had a  crippling stomach ache.

 

During the show that day, Sports writer Tim Sullivan came in, and the talk swung to last year’s  successful  team. He asked Jerry  penetrating questions,  all of which Coleman fielded like the Golden Glover he is.

 

That ran for a few minutes and just as the listeners might have thought we were ready to wrap it up, the phone rang. I asked Jerry to answer it.

 

“Jerry, it’s Larry Lucchino. As you know, Boston won the Series yesterday, and I am ducking the media,. but I had to break away and wish you a happy birthday.”

 

 Jerry wasn’t ready for that one. Nor were the listeners.

 

I call this technique “layering,” beginning with something  evocative,  like celebrating the birthday of the beloved Jerry Coleman, and  climaxing it with  the unexpected.   

 

Moving on: Industries are springing up overnight designed to help newspaper and other media companies coordinate every  tangent  of  their digital operation”

 

I read with amusement the speculation that Randy (Chicken man  He’s everywhere He’s everywhere) Michaels might scoop up some of the fire sale radio stations.

 

He has cherry picked a number of stellar Clear Channel émigrés to make the move back into radio seamlessly, if he chooses.

 

He plundered XM to grab Lee Abrams, a  true visionary  to  bring all of the disparate  elements in sync. Lee has 31 newspapers, 71 websites, 3 cable companies, and 46 TV stations to innovate.

 

Randy brought in Mike Glickenhaus the newly appointed President/CEO of VMIX  to consult on the new set-up at their intricate Tribune Properties operation

 

VMIX is a  whistles and bells outfit that can integrate  disparate digital elements and mold them into one finely honed instrument,  making it easy for website publishers to engage their online audience and increase ad revenue.

 

Glickenhaus  spent ten years with Randy as vice president at Jacor and Clear Channel, then segued to run a dozen Clear Channel radio stations in  San Diego when Jacor was sold. So, the two trust and respect each other.

 

The days of simplistic planning are over. No more Mickey and Judy throwing a big show because one can sing and the other plays the trumpet.

 

You need orchestral arrangements, costumes, writers, set builders, lighting, lots of rehearsal time with the cast, ushers,  and…to print and sell ticket………and a good website..

 

History is full of failures to think things through.

 

Napoleon  was walking the beaches of Elba, in exile, disgraced for losing the entire French Army in Russia. Now, he was bemoaning his fate, “What to do? What to do?” he wailed to himself.

 

He was overheard by a ragged beach comber. who ran up to Napoleon with an ecstatic look  on his face.

 

“Nappy,” he exclaimed, “I have an idea. Why don’t you go back and conquer Europe?”.

 

Napoleon lavishly thanked the man, escaped to Europe, did a half assed job of raising an army, and met his Waterloo.

 

History records that he retired to his tent during the climactic stages of the battle with a stomach ache. He forgot Pepto Bismol.

 

This time, France banished him to St Helena, thousands of miles from France.

 

Benevolent prod that it is, the new technology  in an atmosphere of tight money  and  shredded staffs. will force sales and programming to work together like never before.

 

Exemplified by VMIX,  it  will form a  bond between the medium and the advertiser from the time a commercial or ad  is run until it unites  the customer with the client, creating a sale.

 

Newspapers, TV and Radio websites will play a major role in that process, inspiring the consumer to click onto links that take him or her  to the point of sale..

 

Soon, newly programmed cell phones will swipe bar codes printed on newspapers and television screens, which the customer will then take to the advertiser to grab bonus discounts. Nothing will be left to chance.

 

The new path will lead the consumer in a series of hand-offs  directly to the advertiser,  with extra profits to be shared by the advertiser  and the client.

 

It gonna be spiritual. Better times are coming.  Gone will the days when a P.D. walks into the Sales office and sees a sign posted on the wall reading “Screw programming.”  

 

“Can we all get along ?”.Rodney King