I often blade skate on the beach front in San Diego. The air is so fresh that you feel all you have to do is stand there and inhale, and you will be granted immortality.

All the other skaters are young. They would probably feel better about me if I, at least, dressed the part, maybe skated in a 70’s leisure suit, with a beer can hat.

Skating affords me a chance to monitor snippets of conversation as I glide by. I passed two older guys a few days ago, just as one was saying, “Let’s shoot ‘em all, and let God sort ‘em out.” He wasn’t crazy, just giving vent to a soul full of rage.

Who was he ranting about? Islamo-fascists? Republicans? Democrats? Women?

Specs Howard and I, when doing mornings on KYW in Cleveland, had ten thousand buttons made up, reading “I’m Tired of Hearing About It.” Our pitch was, “If you have a friend or loved one who constantly bores you with mindless chatter, don’t hurt their feelings. Just smile and gently display your ‘I’m Tired of Hearing About It’ button.” We underestimated its potency. People were “tired of hearing about” a lot more things than we imagined. We ordered 50,000 more of them.

Maybe, it’s time for an “I’m Tired of Hearing About It” button revival. The American public is “tired of hearing about” more things than I can shoehorn into this piece. They are disillusioned, and want to understand better what is really going on.

The leaders of both political parties are painfully disillusioning them..

Until recently, listeners would tune in to their favorite talk shows to get their already hardened opinions reinforced by the host.. Now, they are not sure what they believe, and few talk show hosts are helping The once firm ground under the talkers is liquefying like in the perfect earthquake. National and international issues are more muddied, solutions not as simplistic.

Worse, Many talkers are becoming predictable.

Predictability: a killer in radio

This is one reason why talk radio numbers, generally, are sagging

Maybe, its time that we do our own thinking, lateral thinking at that..

Jump in! Lateral thinking is fun.

Example: plant five trees, each the same distance from each of the others.

(Try it. Answer next week)

Lateral thinking applied to the real world.

No one has found a good generic name for those Jihadists, Islamo-fascists, or terrorists.

The George (“Don’t call them insurgents”) Bush administration uses Islamo-fascists.

Let’s call them what they are: “Thugs.”

You may say that this is a purely American name and not appropriate, but that isn’t true.

“Thug” is a Muslim term.

“Thugs” were Muslim gangs who murdered as a religious sacrifice to the Goddess Kali, killing an estimated 2,000,000 victims in India from the 8th through the19th century.

“THUG.”. The very word conjures up evil, violent….thugs.

There is no more appropriate name for them.

Many of you reading this are in the media. Consider “THUG.”

Lateral thinking Ad Absurdum

Last week, Keith Dennis, a Columbus Ohio Mitsubishi Car Dealer waxed creative and decided to launch an advertising campaign based on satirizing Islamicists. It bombed artistically and might well have really bombed, had he gone through with it.

He bought into a radio campaign in which he proclaimed that his dealership was launching a Jihad against the other dealers in town

The commercial claimed that the Mitsubishi car could fit up to 12 Jihadists in the rear seat, and that on “Fatwa Friday,” free rubber swords would be given to the kids.

That campaign never got off the ground much less on the air. None of the radio stations would take the business. He was lucky in two ways. He got a lot of free buzz, and no one beheaded him..

Let’s create our own campaign, backtracking to the car dealer’s premise of cramming the 12 Jihadists, now Thugs, into the back of the car, and work with that.

Don’t be concerned. It isn’t going to air anyway, so what the hell…..

Our revised Premise: Hard-line Thugs like to blow themselves up, as a short cut to Paradise. So, here’s …..….

The campaign: A contest between rival Thug teams to see which team could cram the most Thug team members into the rear seat of the dealer’s contest cars..

Pay-off: The winning Thug team is awarded First Prize: blowing itself up straight to Paradise, with a bonus of 72 virgins for each team member.

But seriously………

Next week, I bring to the surface an issue that has been bubbling under for months..

Not “Bring back Saddam”…..although it would make a great bumper sticker.

Not Thugs blowing themselves up in a car dealer promotion. .

A shocker …and …..it’s true.

With a nod to KFI’s brilliant Bill Handel…..

Apologues to Muhammad, Thugs, Talk Show hosts, the young skaters at Mission Beach, Ad Agencies, Car Dealer Keith Dennis, the two old guys advocating, “shoot ‘em,” Saddam Hussein, and Krishna.

*No Thugs were injured in the writing of this piece.