“Countless eons ago, when the universe was pure energy,

mankind flew around the cosmos, a free spirit.

Then, when the universe exploded (The Big Band Theory)

he coalesced into primordial ooze,

then in time, hardened into a rock (The Hard Rock Theory)

and finally, a sentient man.

This explains man’s love for rock, himself.” 

When I left the air in the early 70’s, I had done everything except fly to the moon. I was fascinated with other gripping pursuits, and no longer wired to think about radio, so… but wait!.... VP/GM Peter Lund called, wanting me to anchor the KSDO morning news, then tops in the San Diego market.  

This was something I might want to do. Others with my outlook have done pretty well in news: Stephen Colbert, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jon Stewart….. Rush Limbaugh. 

I went to lunch with Peter, and another man who would be my boss, and sidekick on the air. He was a “legit” newsman, who sat quietly while Peter and I launched into a spirited “negotiation.“ 

Peter was upbeat and confident, and we were about to “close” when my potential boss/morning sidekick spoke up sharply for the first time. “Peter, you understand that I am going to be Harry’s boss and what I say goes. Right?” He was actually jabbing a finger at the man, destined later to run CBS, as President. 

Peter called me the next day, asking my decision. I said ruefully, “Peter I am going to pass on this one.” I did not have to say to one of America’s most omniscient executives, “If he treated you that way, how is he going to treat me?”  Peter and I have remained chums since, despite my being one of the few idiots in America to tell Mr. Lund ”no”. 

I spent the ensuing 26 years doing national voice work and even dabbled in national TV, In the mid 90’s, I hosted a nationally syndicated Big Band and Ballad Show called  “Waxworks” for several years, but no local radio until the aforementioned late 1999-2000 KPOP weekend mid-day gig, made possible by CCR V.P. Mike Glickenhaus who pulled me out of an idyllic rut, and liberated me to rise Lazarus-like from the radio dead.  

He probably knew going into this thing that I would jerk the rigid CCR format around. I began to “work” my new Sa-Su 10a-2p slot, slowly inserting new songs that I felt would begin the grinding process of turning this archaic format around without alarming the elderly passengers/listeners. Bear in mind that there was no life boat on board and if I didn’t make it, I would go down with the ship. Yippee! My kind of deal. 

Referring you to last week’s Radio Daily News piece, you already know that this project never came to pass. I  made enough progress in flipping the music that I scored #1 45+ both AQH and TSL in a median 65 demo station,  but Clear Channel, on a corporate level, plugged Air America into KPOP’s stick. Now KLSD, it is ranked  20^th  in the San Diego Arbitron. 

What you are about to read is the template of where I would have gone to bring KPOP into the real world of commerce, hopefully achieving a formidable 35-54+ ranking. 

To my thinking, there are several phases in exiting a Pop Standards format. The process involves playing the  comfortable old Pop Standards songs, then gradually sneaking in melodic compatible Oldies and finally broadening that music to include current material, a process that might require a couple of years, but viable money-wise  pretty quickly.  

I would never forsake the big bands and ballads. A Pop Standard is timeless, never “out of fashion.” I would always play Tony Bennett, Jo Stafford, Peggy Lee, Mel Torme, Frank Sinatra, et al. 

The one constant: the songs must be non-tuneoutable. 

I would  play  all-time instrumental greats: “Big Noise from Winnetka”  by Bob Crosby. “Beat me Daddy” by Will Bradley. or Count Basie’s “The Beatle Song Book”  Who’s going to tune those out?   

It is not true that instrumentals are passé. Harry James’s “Two O’clock Jump” is a show tune, if  properly framed.. Play it to end a segment,. before entering a spot set and you leave an hour on a high level. 

When I consider a song, I am thinking of it only in relation to its ability either to rouse or move an audience. .Ella Fitzgerald’s “Midnight Sun” is moving. Her “How High the Moon” is rousing. Tony Bennett’s :”Shadow of your Smile” is moving. His ”Get Happy” is rousing.   

I play songs based on tempo mix, leading off a segment after a  spot break with a rouser, Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock.” Then, I might feature a different sounding song by a group such as. Manhattan Transfer’s “Sunny Side of the Street.” Or an instrumental. “Also Sprach Zarathustra” by  Deodato. Or, I might play a moving song, Nat Cole’s Stardust, after an up-beat opening. 

Remember, I am not programming based on chronology, the time the song was hot. Once you peg a song as  “Music of the 80’s” you are creating a negative among  every one else not of that era.  Conversely, special weekends devoted to specific chronologies are fine. 

Generally, it doesn’t sell a song to know that it was “hot in 1977;”

Rita Coolidge’s “We’re All Alone.”  Just play it, and it will sell itself. 

I do watch for songs ending and beginning in the same key, and cross-fade with sometimes amazing results, often obtaining a counter point rhythm as a slow song morphs into a fast one, or vice versa. 

There is always room for an occasional “framed” song like the Hollies’ ”Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress,” Pretty “rocky” but very catchy.

Factoid: The Hollies sold more albums than the Beatles. 

How about a little country? Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire?” Of course.  Ferlin Huskey’s Snow White Dove?” You betcha.  Hank Snow’s “I’ve Been Everywhere?” You kiddin’ me?  Jim Reeves  “He’ll  Have To Go?” You’re flat dab tootin’.  

I would never  forsake Ella Mae Morse’s’ version of  “House of Blue Lights” in favor of Asleep at the Wheel’s take on it, but would play them both, based on which was more appropriate at that moment based on sound, (woman or group?.) They are both grabbers 

Now, take a look at an hour of songs, with  alternates at the ready.

Crocodile Rock                                                            Elton John

She Came in Thru the Bathroom Window                       The Beatles

Dream Lover                                                                Bobby Daren

Straighten Up and Fly Right                                          Linda Ronstadt, or Nat Cole

Mercy Mercy   (Edited down)                                         Canonball Adderly

I Can’t Get Started                                                        Barry Manilow

Cherokee                                                                     Charlie Barnet

Dance to the Music                                                      Sly and the Family Stone

Can’t Help Falling in Love                                              Elvis Presley

Ain’t Nobody Here But Us Chickens                               Louis Jordan

Salt Peanuts                                                                Count Basie

In the Mood                                                                 Bette Midler

Yo’ Feet’s Too Big                                                        Fats Waller

Dream                                                                         Pied Pipers      

Happy Organ                                                               Baby Cortez    

My Sweet Lord                                                            George Harrison          

House of Blue Lights                                                     Asleep at the Wheel/Ella Mae Morse

S’Wonderful                                                                 Julie London

I Feel Good                                                                  James Brown 

The songs are not in the order I would  play them: Once on the air, I mix the music based on “feel” as we go along. I write my shows ahead of time. 95% prepared, I can take advantage of last minute inspiration. 

James Brown’s “I Feel Good,.” believe it or not, is an evergreen among older folks They like to dance to it at senior socials. Time has rounded out the sharp edges of this edgy song. It’s a great “happy maker.”  Of course, it’s also an ass-kicking boomer song. 

I like to “play” with songs such as “I Feel Good.” By isolating Brown’s’ primal scream  at the top of his song, and repeating it several times, it will remind you of  an insane car alarm. I also have a door sfx reminiscent of the old general store entrance, tinkling bells tethered at the top of the door followed by the door slam ... theater of the mind.

i.e.: I am talking at the end of an hour and abruptly interrupt myself with the Brown “scream cart,” and exclaim, “Uh! oh! That’s my Official James Brown Car Alarm.  Someone may be hijacking my car.” (Brown cart up, then I fade off the mike to sound like I am running to the door)  “ The tinkling door cart “slams,” butted up against  a stab or audio logo going into a stop set. 

Did you know that Frank Sinatra’s  “Moonlight Serenade” is sung at the same tempo and key as Glenn Miller’s version? I created a hauntingly beautiful version of that song by cross-fading Frank and the Miller Orchestra, often playing them simultaneously creating the effect that Frank is being accompanied by Miller. A spectacular moment. I regret not knowing that Frank was recording his “Duets” album. I would have presented  the “Moonlight Serenade” duet to him for inclusion in that collection, a fitting one for Francis Albert. 

Like I told you, this whole psychodrama never came to pass. KPOP was palmed off on Air America, and my champion, CCR V.P. Mike Glickenhaus formed a group that  bought three of the five Mexican radio stations spun off by CCR. 

I don’t do radio I surround it.  Doing what is not being done elsewhere, giving people new perspectives on vital issues….more importantly making their lives more fun. Most people feel like they are on the edge of gravity, in danger of spinning off. I bring them to the center where it is safe            

                        The legendary John Rook rights a great wrong.

 Pop music artists, Louis Armstrong, Tony Bennett, Teresa Brewer, Rosemary Clooney, Nat King Cole, Perry Como, Bing Crosby, Doris Day, Neil Diamond, Joni James, Frankie Laine, Steve Lawrence, Dean Martin, Al Martino, Johnny Mathis, The McGuire Sisters, Jaye P Morgan, Guy Mitchell, Les Paul & Mary Ford, Johnny Ray, Jo Stafford, Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Kay Starr, Bobby Vinton, Dionne Warwick and Andy Williams join more than one hundred nominated at the Hit Parade Hall of Fame, where the vote of fans will decide their induction. The Hit Parade Hall of Fame website features a photo, a complete bio and one of the hit recordings for each recording artists nominated. 

John Rook asks you to help him create the Hit Parade Hall of Fame for these timeless artists and more who would not otherwise be honored             http://www.hitparadehalloffame.org   Visit it now and vote.        

Next week:  How I bring about social good within the narrow  confines of a music format. As the FCC turns up the heat on stations to serve their local public, this might be useful. 

Next week,  a new feature:. “Lap Dancing with the Stars.”