Some years ago, thousands of hungry desperate illegal immigrant squatters began grabbing land from the rich Californians. This ragged bunch had snuck across the border in a quest for better times. Finally they crowded the rich land owners out, and that was the first step toward claiming the state as their own. But, enough about those American illegals and their assault on the rich Mexicans. Those 1840 gold rush days are long gone.

I wrote the above to give you an index to how I think about things. I like to set an audience up with some junk ball pitches, and then throw them a fast ball straight down the pipe..My audience loves this game, and are willing to go along with me, because they know the pay- off is going to be fun and different, and often the joke will backfire on me.

I should have been tarred and feathered when I invited my listeners to tour Dominican playboy Rafael Trujillo Jr’s newly arrived 400 foot yacht. Without first getting Senor Trujillo’s permission. Speaking in an outrageous Latino accent into a filter mike, I spoke to myself in a phone conversation that morning. “Eenvite all your leesteners to come to the yacht (Jaht) Happy Hare. I will have balloons for the youngsters (jongsters) drinks for the caballeros and I have flown in a plane load of jaracas for the ladies” 12,000 people showed up for the tour of the yacht .It became an international incident when the crew of the Angelita panicked at the sight of the “mob.” and cast off with dead engines.

KCBQ owner, Lee Bartell, went on the air apologizing for the station. He was also a lawyer and feared a lawsuit by the Dominican Republic, but when things settled down, my audience forgave me because it was a Happy Hare ”gotcha” on April Fools Day. The joke backfired, but it is funnier now than it was then.

Due to events like this, I began to realize my awesome powers and determined to use them for the good of humanity.

Make no mistake, the imp was still pecking at my cerebrum. If I was going to do serious charity work, it had to be fun for me and my listeners. The result was that I raised millions of dollars without once reaching into their chests and plucking their heart strings. I raised tons of money for the Jerry Lewis telethon by swimming across San Diego in 200 swimming pools and collecting the money as I arrived at the pool parties that were thrown in honor of the event. Another year, I climbed 10,000 foot Picacho Del Diablo in Baja California.. The most exhausting thing I did was to walk Death Valley for charity.

I returned to San Diego in 1969 after seven tectonic years with Specs Howard where we teamed to bring The Martin and Howard Show to Cleveland and Detroit.. During those years, KCBQ my San Diego home station, had plummeted from #1 to #5 in the market, but I returned with no intention to do anything about it. I wanted to experience new exciting adventures. This lasted for nine months….. nine months of being bored. out of my skull.

Of course, I went back on the air with the same intensity, but I needed to make a splash in this beach city…...let ’em know I was back.

My return was timely. 1969 was San Diego’s 200th anniversary. I received a phone call from Mayor Frank Curran asking me to help the city celebrate. “Make it different, Hare,” He ordered. Something different. Hmm!

In the relatively big time radio of the Midwest, I had “matured” away from thinking of promotions only in terms of marathon physical displays. While at KYW in Cleveland, I had “evolved.” The greatest money raiser in my experience was not a wild promotion, but one from the heart.

Neither Specs nor I, but The KYW Production Department, came up with a heart tugger, literally. One weekend, we went on the air to raise money for the Heart Fund and in the background under the music and the spots, beating all day, was the thumping sound of a human heart. When the money was flowing in, the heart thumped solidly. There were times when the money slowed down and so did the heart. From a solid resounding thump thump thump into thump…...thump……thump. When this happened, Specs and I would get on the air and passionately beg for money. “Don’t let the heart stop. Please call xxxxxxxx and pledge your money right now before it’s too late”. We weren’t kidding It was like our own hearts were failing.. The audience felt that way, too. The phone lights pulsated with renewed vigor to get the heart going again. With this transfusion of cash, the heart would go from thump….thump…thump back to thump thump thump, and we would get wildly emotional over this renewal of life. We raised over $300,000 dollars that weekend..

I have never been involved in a promotion so all encompassing in its concept as that one. Why not? It was the brainchild of, not us, but our Production Director, the great Dick Orkin. Dick soon went to Hollywood where he wrote the funniest commercials ever. One CLIO after another. It was humbling to get off the air each morning and go into the production studio and voice Orkin’s promos that were funnier than anything Specs and I were doing on our dominant morning show

This was the standard I set for myself to celebrate San Diego’s 200th anniversary.. Something never heard before…from the heart. Next week I will tell you what I came up with.